Women's intimate portraiture

Why do women do Boudoir? | Orange County Women’s Intimate Portraiture & Boudoir Photographer

April 19, 2019

As I sat down with an old customer from my bartending days, I couldn’t help but find myself subconsciously pulling my hair out and gritting my teeth as this regular customer of mine asked me if the main reason women book boudoir sessions is as a gift to their soon to be husbands.

Let me start off by saying I have nothing against boudoir being a gift to another, it does make one hell of a customized, amazing, sexy gift! But what frustrates me is that most people that I talk to, in which boudoir is not in their daily repertoire, is that they assume that there is no other reason for booking your shoot.

As I explained to this old customer that many of my clients are actually not in a relationship at all, the look on his face was dumfounded. I used the opportunity to educate.

I told him that there are many reasons why my clients book their session with me, and believe it or not, only a very small whopping 8% are brides. I made it a point to explain that nobody needs a reason to celebrate and cherish themselves. His eyes lit up in that moment as if he realized what I had just said and was a punch in the gut. Almost like a lightbulb went off.

It made me think about how I wanted to write a blog post of the many reasons why my clients in particular booked their boudoir sessions. I’m excited because we are also going to hear from said clients.

So without further ado, the top 3 reasons why women book their boudoir experiences:

One; They lack confidence.
Most women that live on this planet have been fed the lies that they constantly need to improve themselves. We’ve been told that loving yourself is vain and selfish. We’ve been brainwashed into believing that we will never be enough. Outside sources such as magazines, family members, friends, bullies, society, ads, etc, has subliminally been diminishing our self confidence until there is nothing left.

“Like so many women, I have always felt insecure about my body. At a young age, I began feeling negative about my appearance because of the world around me and the narrative I heard at home. I have never felt comfortable in bathing suits or lingerie and I flat out don’t believe anyone that hands me a compliment on my physical appearance. This lack of self confidence has followed me around my whole life. “

– Briana (past client)

“I decided to book my session with Alyssa Michelle shortly after because I knew I needed to. I needed this for myself. I lacked self-confidence. Somewhere along the way it got lost and as long as I can remember, I have always compared myself to my friends and other women that I admired. I wasn’t enough ‘woman’ in my own mind. I always wanted to be curvier and feel sexy, like a woman. I wasn’t happy with myself and it took a toll in all aspects of my life, especially my relationships with my loved ones.”

– Mae (past client)

Two; They want to pass on the practice of self-love to their children.
Because how in the world do you expect your children to grow up in the same world you did and not feel defeated and beat down by feeling like they aren’t enough?
Many of my clients state that they have NEVER felt beautiful in their lives, and it stemmed from their mother constantly hating her image, hating her body, hating herself. What you practice trickles down to your children.

“I want women (especially my daughters) to feel the way I felt before and after this session. May they NOT have the struggles I know many of us women have with our bodies and image, and also, let it be us who show them the art of grace, the freedoms of expression, and that deep, inner, don’t-have-words-for-this-shit type of SELF LOVE!”

– Yvonne (past client)

“My girls deserve to see their mother love herself so they can know that it’s okay to know you are worth it. It’s acceptable to feel enough, beautiful, and capable. That’s why I decided to get one of my favorite photos blown up on a giant Metal Wall Portrait to put right above my bed, so my girls can see me loving myself, so they, in turn, learn to love themselves too.”

– Amanda (past client)

Three; They want to learn to love and accept their “imperfections”.
We all have them, stretch marks, cellulite, scars, and “imperfections”. We are taught at a very young age to hate these things, and to find ways to reduce, remove, and soften these things. These women KNOW that their imperfections are what make them beautiful, but they can’t see it within themselves. To see themselves through another’s eyes, is life changing.

“Since a young age, I’ve been criticized on my body. My two least favorite features I had of myself growing up were my freckles and being small chested. It continued on later, adding in my cellulite and stretch marks. However, I never really truly saw my beauty until recently. I booked this experience last year, knowing my 25th birthday was coming up. It came to me one day while looking into Alyssa’s timeline, seeing all her amazing work, if I didn’t feel comfortable in my skin at my prime, I was never going to. So.. I emailed her. And I booked my life changing experience.”

– Emily (past client)

“Ever since I can remember, I’ve had scars, stretch marks that make me look like a tiger, and this cellulite that would never go away. I used to hate my body so much that I would hide from the world. Going outside was never in my plans and much less wearing clothes that didn’t cover me from head to toe. It all changed when I finally decided enough was enough an booked my shoot with Alyssa. Let me tell you, I’ve never been more terrified than I was when I booked, but it changed me completely and fully. My photos don’t hide my body, they show it in all it’s glory, scars, stretch marks, and cellulite and I cried tears of joy because for the first time, I loved me, ever with all of my crap. I see myself how I was always meant to be, confident, sexy, empowered.”

– Diana (past client)

There are so many more reasons why women book their sessions, but keep in mind that you do not NEED a reason to celebrate you. You are reason enough babe, remember that always.

Tell me what you think about this weeks blog post in the comments!

If you are ready to take your own leap of faith, email me at photographybyalyssamichelle@gmail.com to get info!

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