As women, I think we inherently have more expectations for ourselves than do men.  To me, this is primarily because we have been programmed early in life, to strive to be everything to everyone.  We have this unattainable expectation that we can provide the right amount of balance in our lives to not only meet, but to excel in all that we do.  This includes our romantic lives, our personal lives, our professional careers, our parenting skills. But why stop there? Some of us older women even add on the ability to care for our parents and our grandparents, as well as be the “go to” for all of our friends in their hours of need.  

I feel like men are more realistic in their goals for themselves, realizing that there are limitations to what they can do.  This is displayed in their ability to “prioritize” the elements of their lives for which they are responsible. Anything or anyone that falls outside of this parameter simply does not make the cut and, therefore no time is allocated.  Since these are perceived as not their “responsibility”, they are at peace and no sleep is lost. Indeed, not another thought is given.

Women, on the other hand, tend to put no such limitations on their “area of responsibility”.  We have the same number of hours a day as men and we work the same amount of time. We just have to cram so much more into our limited time to meet all of our perceived responsibilities.  And who created this responsibility list? We do it to ourselves. You are not alone. I have done this all of my life, and continue to do so to this day. I liken it to juggling eggs. All is great until the eggs start dropping and breaking at your feet.  Then something has got to give. I am going to suggest something that just might help to relieve some of the burden we all feel.

PUT YOURSELF FIRST; Allocate a little time each day, each week, or each month for you.  Whatever it is you truly enjoy, make it a priority. For me, it was getting my nails done. That is until I grew an allergic reaction to acrylic nails.  Then pick something else. Read a book, try on some new clothes, join a gym, go to a concert, take a class you are interested in, schedule a boudoir shoot.   It’s ok to pamper yourself a little.

LEARN HOW TO SAY NO; Take a lesson from the guys; Prioritize your time, realizing that it is alright to let some things go.  You can let your friends or family members know that you are there for them and that they are in your prayers even if you can’t dedicate the time to be with them.  My thought is, if they truly love you, they will understand. They may even appreciate your honesty.

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Article by Dana Nicolai