Recently, I had the opportunity to be a part of the Dream Team shoots. Not only was it special because I got to be photographed by Alyssa AND her best friend Kelley; but, it was also my second shoot.

Going into this shoot there were so many similarities and differences, so let me just start at the beginning.

When the Dream Team slots were announced, I was ecstatic and knew i wanted one. I had already had my experience with Alyssa, and left that day knowing i wanted more. Then after stalking Kelley’s page, I knew I would love the variety she could bring to the table.

After signing up for the spot, all the familiar feelings overcame me. I wasn’t sure i would be able to go through with it. I stressed about the financials, and if i should be spending that money on myself. I remember thinking “i already had my experience, do i really deserve another?” And most of all, I stressed that I wouldn’t be photographed well. Alyssa had pulled through one photoshoot being able to make me look beautiful, but would it happen again.

Leaving my first shoot, I had a huge sense of pride and power, and that hadn’t disappeared, but I still had fears.

The day of my shoot I walked up to that door hoping that I would be confident, but I stood there afraid to knock once again. The butterflies were a constant in my stomach, and I was filled with nervous excitement. As soon as i was welcomed in and sat down for hair and makeup, i remembered what all of this was about. Me.

I am one of those people that struggles to put themselves first. Through this hectic thing we call life, I tend to forget that I am a part of it. But this was my time; and as weird as it was to me, i knew i needed and deserved it. I got to feel like one of the girls, get pampered, and have all eyes on me. Even saying it now, it seems conceited, but its not. We deserve to be special. We deserve to pamper ourselves and put ourselves first. We deserve attention.

Alyssa and Kelley are truly something special. They know how to bring you out of your shell. They know how to make you feel comfortable in your own skin. They know how to make you live and laugh in the moment. And my goodness do they have a gift behind the camera. Even having a shoot previously, they were able to capture me in a completely different light.

My first shoot was about finding myself. I desperately needed help in seeing what other people saw. I needed to find a beginning on where and how to love myself. I had a lot to overcome, and Alyssa helped me. She was able to make me feel like I was special. She was able to show me that I was so incredibly gorgeous. Through that experience, I was able to see how strong I was. That I was courageous in having a desire to fight for my own self love.

This time I had gone in feeling discouraged because I still had a desire, a need, to own myself. I wanted to see myself in a darker sexy light. I wanted to feel bold.

Thats the thing though: self love isn’t something that just happens over night. Self love is a constant battle. There will be days when you struggle, and that’s okay. There will be times that you fall completely off the wagon, and those are the moments you have to demand it back for yourself.

I realize now, my first shoot was just the beginning. I have many different sides, and I need to embrace them all, because each one of them is unique in making up me. This second shoot wasn’t just for fun, although is was a BLAST! It was a continued journey. It was me allowing myself to continue to to take care and love on me.

My second shoot does not take away from my first shoot, but adds a whole new level. And I cannot wait to see the parts of me shoot #3 has me falling in love with.

written by Alicia