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Hi! My name is Katie Kramer, and I am 27 years old. I work in representation in the entertainment space. I decided to take the leap of faith and do a boudoir shoot because I am having the year of 'me.' That sounds so selfish, but I have realized that sometimes it is really okay to be selfish.
At the end of 2016, I was neck deep in work. My life revolved around my job, but that is how it is supposed to be when you are young and trying to make it in the entertainment world right? But in order to focus on my work, I was putting myself, and my health on the back burner. I have always dealt with an unhealthy body image, never truly loving how I looked. It didn't help that I hadn't had a boyfriend since my ex dumped me out of the blue after two years and claimed that we were never really dating anyway...that was in 2015. I was in a rut and had thrown myself into my job to avoid every other aspect of my life. Was I happy no, but was I able to ignore all my problems and use work as an excuse? You bet!
So NYE 2017 I made my New Years resolution to focus on myself and my happiness. By September I had gained enough confidence in myself to reach out on a Facebook post that Alyssa had posted in the group we are both a part of and I decided that doing a boudoir shoot is exactly what my New Years resolution epitomized. It was all about me, how I felt, how I looked, treating myself to hair and makeup and being with a bunch of women who empower each other. I knew that I had to do it.
The day of the shoot, I was driving down to OC from LA and I was incredibly nervous. I was instantly regretting my decision to do this shoot, I had never liked photos of myself, why would this be any different? Who was I to think I would look good in any of these photos, despite the professional hair and makeup? All of my insecurities came to light on that car ride down. I must note, that I have never felt pretty. I was ALWAYS the tall friend or the athletic friend. I have never felt like I was pretty enough to be in pictures, which is why I avoided them at all costs. I hated how I looked, I hated my nose (which I had redone - one of the first stages of me being selfish), I hated my thighs, my arms, my chin, you name a body part, I probably hated mine. All of these feelings and thoughts kept me from doing anything like this in the past. I have always looked at boudoir shoots and thought about how incredibly beautiful those women were, and not because they were half naked, but because it showed their confidence in themselves. I wanted to be those women, and the fact that I didn't turn around mid drive was one of the first baby steps to getting there.
The session was INCREDIBLE. I have honestly never felt so comfortable being half naked in a room of strangers in my life. The whole team made me feel comfortable from the moment I stepped in the door. The chatter and excitement to have me and take these photos was infectious and calmed my nerves that by the time it was time to take the photos I was completely at ease and almost excited! The session itself was one of the best experiences I have ever had. THANK GOD they were there to tell me how to pose because I know I would have been a hot mess without the help and guidance. But that is part of what made it so great, the fact that they were there the WHOLE time to guide me through everything and make me feel comfortable enough to even do a live Facebook steam!! BIG STEPS! Before I even was done with my photoshoot, I was excited to see the final photos.
The photo reveal was a full TWO WEEKS after my session due to some family things that I had to handle. Needless to say, I was DYING to see my photos. We started off with the video which was the best way to start because it was just enough of a teaser to make me want more!! The photo slide show had me actually gasping out loud. I was so in awe with how beautiful MY photos were that I couldn't believe that they were actually mine. Seeing those photos were just another step towards appreciating who I am and what I have been through to make me who I am and I can not be happier or more proud to have these photos to prove to myself that I am a strong woman who has finally put herself first.