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"Hello Dolls! My name is Jessica, i am a 34 year old Air Traffic Controller Sci-Fi nerd living in Southern California. Although that just pays the bills, in real life i am a wild child, go where the wind blows, free spirit that is the dog mom of a 7 month old Dachshund named Sauerkraut. That basically means that when i grow up i want to travel the world, take pictures, eat desserts, sculpt, paint, sing, get tattoos and go to Disneyland with my dog. Besides the aforementioned obsessions, I have two major passions, boosting self esteem in plus size girls and women and boosting self love in black female youth and teens.
The road to the woman I am today was by no means easy. I find myself being envious sometimes of the amount of clothing that is available to the vivacious babes these days. I had the option of men clothes or very older women looking unflattering clothing. I remember being embarrassed going clothes shopping with my girlfriends when i was a teenager because i could never dream of fitting in the clothes that they sold at Charlotte Russe or any other normal sized store for girls. I was often told that i would be so beautiful if i was skinny or i would have a boyfriend if I was only skinny. So i grew up thinking that i wan't pretty and this was more or less solidified in my early 20's when i met a guy who told me that he was embarrassed to be seen officially dating me. This was the ongoing theme of our 8 year off and on relationship that finally ended when i had had enough after hearing the man that i loved say that he would marry me if only i was skinny. The idea that i wasn't good enough took a very long time to get over but with a lot of help from my friends, I realized my worth, I may not be everyone's cup of tea, that's okay because i consider myself to be champagne now. However, living in Los Angeles often can make you doubt your self worth and I started feeling really down on myself because I was not being true to who i was, and going through problems in my current relationship, which i felt were fueled by how i look, as this had always been the problem in the past. I found Alyssa on Instagram and fell in love with her photography just as i was hitting a very low point and felt very ugly, i booked a shoot but decided to give myself some time to get my shine back.
While i was preparing for my shoot I started feeling like my wonderful self again and my passions of helping women to see the beauty in themselves fully manifested, it became an obsession of mine to photograph me as I am, and by that I mean me at my most natural and true to my personality. I don't consider myself to be an overly sexy person so wearing lingerie would not have brought out my best self, but keeping my hair curly and stepping out in my birthday suit were a must. Among black women it is very typical for us to straighten our hair or put in hair extensions, taking away what is one of most beautiful attributes and making it more socially acceptable. As a thick and curvy woman it is often in our nature to want to cover up and hide our flaws. For this shoot it was imperative to me that i not only show that curly hair can be beautiful and sexy but so can having rolls and lumps. It was my goal to show women that we are beautiful in our imperfections and I feel like Alyssa captured that perfectly, she helped me to finally see what it is that everyone else sees. i have never been as happy as i was taking those pictures and being able to see all of the beautiful, sexy, great qualities about myself as well as me embracing the beauty in the flaws. I realize that not everyone will find this shoot to be as beautiful as I do and that is okay but if I helped just one woman see that she is beautiful in all her curvaceous beauty, if i helped just one female see that her curly hair is indeed beautiful then i consider this shoot to be even more of a success then i know in my soul that it is. Thank you Alyssa for helping my finish my metamorphosis from a woman into a Goddess."